Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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