hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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