I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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