I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
