I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize