That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
