Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
