Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
