I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
