I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
