I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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