so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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