I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
