Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
