Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
