she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
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Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.