I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?