Umm I'm too high to move.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him