i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??