life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.