I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize