We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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