2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
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It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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