real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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