margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
