i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
