mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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