32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
