I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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