How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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