pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
