He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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