I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
mondays should just be called national damage control day
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
