It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
