These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
