well I can't set my house on fire every night
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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