Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
