So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
