I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
