her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
