I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
