dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize