i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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