actually, I'm a sock model
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
