let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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