Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
