oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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