Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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