On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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