youre lurking in front of me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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