she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
