just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm always down for nudity.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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