Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
