So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize