what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she peed on how many people?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
