You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
