I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
