new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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