I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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