What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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