I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
