well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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