Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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