Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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