So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
