shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
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DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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